How do you know if someone is objectively better than you are? If you take this test, you can find out, at least in relation to me.
In order to find out if I Am Better Than You Are, simply print out this form, fill it out, and email it to me. I will then determine whether or not I am better than you are based on your response. Then I will mail you a certificate affirming your position of relative betterness to me.
When filling out the contract, make sure to include your own mailing address, so that I can to mail you the certificate. (I only need your address to mail you the card; I will not ever use it for any other purposes, will not ever mail you anything else again, and will ever not give it out to anyone else.)