Ivan is a tough guy who, like the rest of the Tracksuit Mafia, always wears Adidas and a lot of gold jewelry. And bro, he always says the same futzing things. Seriously.
And bro, even though this is an almost entirely pieced-together cosplay, with almost nothing created by me (except that I digitally printed the rings), it took futzing forever bro–seriously. Seriously.
Finding a Men’s XL pink turtleneck in the exact right color and no ribbing on the neck? Futzing almost impossible. (XL Women’s shirt for the win, bro!)
Finding the right kind of chains and uzi necklace from an online store that wasn’t a scam? Seriously.
And bro, I started off wanting to be one of Ivan’s flunkies with the brown tracksuits, but seriously there are no Men’s XL versions of those anywhere bro. I could find some Women’s S but that doesn’t help me bro. Neither did online scam stores that ended up getting me involved in a futzing month’s-long dragged-out fraud, bro.
But in the end, bro? Finding the exact right sneakers and tracksuit, and some glam gold watches and bracelets, not to mention a futzing mustache that is just what this bro needed?
Bro. Seriously. That was the best.